So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
