ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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