guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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