The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
