Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
