I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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