D3 body, D1 cock
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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