im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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