Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
