Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
