I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just cropdusted the office
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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