I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
