I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
