she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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