Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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