Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
