did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
