I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I fill condoms, not promises.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
