At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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