I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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