Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
