Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize