Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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