I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
