I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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