Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
