Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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