Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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