that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
