Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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