You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
