i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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