theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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