your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
