It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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