its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
