apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
