I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
