Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
