he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
