Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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