Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
