carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is it because I queefed?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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