Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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