so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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