also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
