Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
