I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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