I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
