You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
