Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He better not be in your backpack
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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