I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
